I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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