He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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