the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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