dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
