I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize