How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
