I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
