My hair reeks of homosexuality.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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