..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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