Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
