I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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