yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
