I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
