You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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