Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize