and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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