This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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