I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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