Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
