we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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