Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
