I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She even gives head with a lisp.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
