working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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