i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
