My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
