Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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