I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
