Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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