i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You were trust falling into bushes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
