I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
