What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
