i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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