is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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