Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
