Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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