so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
