he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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