Tell her she can't have a vagina
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
