sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
