I accidentally had phone sex last night
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
