chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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