Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
