Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ladies don't puke and tell
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
