I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
