Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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