Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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