You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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