Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
