I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
