just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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