weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
