I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
