I could have mohawked her pubes.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Farmville is her only friend.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
