dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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