I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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