3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
