I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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