try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
