so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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